Everyday I live life how you always dreamed me to..

Ok, deep breaths.

It's been five years since my Mom passed away.  5 years, since I've heard her voice,  hugged her, kissed her, smelled her, ate her good home -made food. Shopped with her. Talked with her. 

5 years since I've even seen her face. 

Her favorite color is pink, as you can see!

I got the courage the other night to pull down a box in my closet labelled: MOMS KEEPSAKES. I haven't had the strength to look through it since she past away, April. 21, 2006. I thought I wasn't going to be able to do it, but I did. In that box I found; well, keepsakes. Her charm bracelet, a lock of her hair, notes she had wrote me, pictures I had drawn for her when I was younger describing A-Z " What I love about you Mom " and to be honest, some of it made me smile. 

At a winery in Kelowna

When I became a Mom, I felt a huge void not having her in my life.  First of all I wish I could say;" Thank-you" for: birthing me, feeding me, changing me, showing me to:  sit, crawl, stand, and walk. For discipling me, and really just for all the things I never appreciated, or understood until I became a Mom myself. I had never thought to ask her questions about her pregnancies, or things she did in her child rearing days.. BUT in this box I found letters she had wrote my aunt when she was pregnant with me, she told her stories about me crawling, how she was exhausted because I woke-up every 2 hours ( hmm.. thats's where my kids get it from ) and how; " She's really a neat baby!! Great personality, always smiling, wait till you see her  Nick!!"  Plus I am forever thank-ful for the detail and effort she put into our baby books, hence why I am so crazy about "preserving the memories" for my own kids. 

11 months old snuggling with Mom :)

Although there were many tears shed when I opened the letter she wrote to me before she died. 

The one thing that had haunted her the most when she knew the cancer had defeated her was that she wouldn't see her Grandbabies. She wrote " I hope your children know their Nana" 

Well Mom, they do. Levi has a picture of her in his room and he always points to it and says " Thats Nana, in heaven, with Jesus."

I'm am so happy she got to experience being a Nana.

She said it was her dream come true.

 Time most certainly does NOT heal all wounds. The wounds I have may be trying to heal, but a scar will always remain. 

Because not one day has gone by where I haven't thought of her, dreamed of the could have beens, and what ifs. And it scares me that the time since I " last saw her " gets longer with each passing day .

Although, I swear I feel her presence around me all the time, like she never left. And when I close my eyes  I can see her so vividly, that I  swear it was only a yesterday that I saw her.

  I remember holding her when she was sick, and in so much pain, until she finally fell asleep. I sat there and memorized everything on her, because I knew, there wasn't much  time left.

And a few verses from a poem I wrote around her death, that I live by:

" Everyday I'll think of you.

 Everyday I'll live life how you always dreamed me to."

There is so many more things I could write that I know and feel in my heart, but I know God hears, and understands all things. I may at times think its not fair, nor will I ever understand how a beautiful, healthy, strong woman, who never smoke, or drank got a rare form of cancer at the age of 52. 

I decided to blog about this today because I know many of Mom's friends and family will see this. 

But also,  because I want to encourage everyone to never take your family, or life for granted.
Forget about the past, and think about all the things that went right, instead of wrong.
Don't assume you or they will always be around. 
Appreciate the day, live for the moment.
 Don't wait until your " retired" to really start living your dreams. 

Hug, hold, love, appreciate and cherish your Mom today.

So thankful for all the things she saw me do

It's so hard to believe our parents are both gone. All we have left, is each other .

And one last thing. 

Something I have always regretted not saying at her funeral, that gives me hope, and makes everything seem ok:

" I'll see you in Heaven Mom " 

Love, Michele

SIX

Dion, my D, Dee - Dee, is six months today!!! I can't believe he has been in our lives for half a year already!!!

LOVE this vintage, mint green high chair! I just had to use it, so Dion had a photoshoot at the Doerksens!

He is changing so much, his blue eyes are even bluer, 

His blonde hair is getting thicker, and just when we thought he couldn't get any cuter - he has!!

I hate it that he is getting older, but I must say I am enjoying the "now." He is at a easy stage: Immobile, predictable, and on a schedule.

He is eating solids now, and I have been enjoying making all my own baby food. 

We thought we were getting teeth this month, so the Amber necklace went on, turns-out, false alarm, !

Which I am happy about, because I just LOVE gummy smiles :)

"Time" you can stand still for a bit now, thank-you....

M.P

Reimer sneak peak

Here is just a sneak peak of a beautiful family I photographed this weekend.

They're kinda a big deal to me, so I will do a bigger post once I have them all edited :)

Golden Light

I have been waiting for the "Golden Light" since winter. Ever since Kelle Hampton mentioned it, I have been looking.

  The other night, I found it. 

Steve was out for the evening, so it was just me and the boys at home. I was just about ready to do the evening routine, when suddenly I saw it bursting through the trees at the back of our house and I knew I had to catch the magic.

I quickly dressed the kids put them in the stroller and ran to the park.

Here are a few from our golden light, night:

I Love photographing kids, they don't worry about posing, how they look, what angle is best...

They just, enjoy the moment

Playing in the light of evening.

Chasing their shadow

My lil boy is getting so big, 2.5 now...

I've been wanting to get some pictures of my boys together.

I must say they cooperated quite well :)

It's been so heart-warming to see my boys start to interact together.

You can already tell Dion looks up to his big brother

The kid has lips that give the Jolie- Pitts a run for their money

My sweet  baby, almost 6 months

treasuring every bit of his baby-ness

My BOYS, you are the key to my soul,  looking forward to many more spring days, filled with golden light.

M.P

Mom's Day OFF

A couple of weekends ago I came down stairs in the morning and my husband told me he was sending me away for the night. He had pre- arranged for me to stay at my girlfriend Ang's place downtown, told her to book us in at the spa, and to make sure I had a full nights sleep. I was in. 

We planned it for the next weekend, and I was sooo excited!! Mostly just for sleep, Dion was still night waking on me, every 2-3 hours we were working on it, but I was tired...

So I packed my bags ( and Pump. ) Fueled -  up on hugs and kisses from my babies ( and husband. ) Hit the freeway, with  my music cranked -up,  sunglasses on and fell deep into my own, un-interrupted thoughts.

I met Ang at her place, we got beautified, then hit the streets for some shopping. 

We shopped until the stores closed then went to Cactus Club Robson. It dawned on me that I could drink more than one glass of wine because the beauty of living in the city was that you didn't have to drive home. 

I ordered two large Martinis. 

These were taken on my Iphone

Love Instagram APP it makes any picture look better,  and the best part - its FREE!

We walked home, got in our PJS and watched Sex and the city2 while eating popcorn and M&Ms ( its the treat we always eat together, you actually put the M&Ms in the popcorn and they slightly melt, that combined with butter and salt = yummy. ) 

This is my favourite part. When Charlotte confesses how hard being a Mom really is...

So, after this we hit the sheets.  Ang asked if I wanted a " sleep aid" oh yes I did!!! I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep all night because I had been so used to getting -up at all hours.

When I woke -up it was 9.
 I had slept like 10 hours straight!!!!
I told her I thought I was hung-over. "No no no, you only had two drinks? You probably just aren't used to getting that much sleep!"
 Haha she was right! My body was like what the h$*! - just happened!!!???

We got -up hit Starbucks,  and walked about the misty city.

At Starbucks

We were not able to get in for Pedi's at a spa so we went to a nail bar in Yale town. We plunked ourselves  down on that couch, read like 10 smut magazines, and zoned out for a hour.
It was heaven.

Our beautiful toes!! Thanks Steve!! ( Notice the disposeable  sandals)

As I was paying I realized my parking meter had run out. crap!! Since we forgot to bring sandals we high- tailed it down the street in these disposeable sandals. For anyone who has ever used these, you know they are not made for walking in, let alone running. Within a block Ang had already broken hers, mine were hanging by a thread. and people were staring.
We had to laugh!!
And I'm happy to report: No ticket!!!

It was time to go home... I enjoyed my day and night away. But I caught myself cooing at other peoples babies, and making sure I always slipped in " I was a Mom, I had two kids" anyone else do that? On the rare occasion you go with out kids, you almost feel like you should have a sign on your head that says " I am a Mom" and its not usually this easy for me :)Along the way I had gotten pictures and videos of the family at home. Oh and of course, Dion only woke up 2x that night .. When I called and asked where Dion was Steve would say he is in his bed trying to sleep, he's crying but it only lasts like 5 minutes..
 Say what!? He's crying!? He never cries when I put him to bed, he never fights sleep.
 My poor baby NEEDS his Mommy!!
Ok, he was totally in good hands, and whatever Steve did worked because ever since then he has been sleeping much better, and I am feeling rested.

I came back home rejuvenated,  a better Mom, and a thankful wife.

Thank-you to my wonderful, thoughtful husband, and my darling friend, I thoroughly enjoyed my
 " Day off"

M.P 

Levi's " BIG boy room" fit for Prince

We transitioned Levi into his new room the end of August, so that the " baby" would be in the nursery.  I had major anxiety about moving him because he never tried to climb out, it kept him contained and to be honest, the crib worked well for us.

 But finally after some persuasion from friends and my sister-in law we did the big move. 

After the first week I thought, " What the heck was I thinking!!!???"

I was so pregnant,  exhausted, and Steve was still in berry season hecticness. The first night he kept getting out, until finally after a hour of laying with him he fell asleep. Nap times became a battle, and then once he fell asleep he would only nap for a hour to a hour and a half. that might seem long, but I was used to 3 hours minimum and to top it off I was napping myself every afternoon. So just when I fell asleep, Levi would get -up.

But after the first month, he got used to it.  So now 7 months in, I must say I am sooo glad we did it! We can lay in there with him before bed, read stories, snuggle.  I don't know how many times I have wondered where the heck Steve was and found the two of them fast asleep together. Talk about warming the heart;)
Plus now when we travel I don't have to worry about lugging the playpen halfway across the world. He can sleep anywhere!

And finally after 7 months I have finished his room. Of course there are a few more things I need to display on the shelves, and I'm still trying to finds that " perfect" lamp. But mostly, its complete!

Here are a few pics:

This was my inspiration

Pillowcases made by Mom

This is the quilt my girlfriend Joni made. She did an amazing job! So custom, so well made,  she even had it embroidered. It's such a keepsake, I love it.

  Visit her face book page here and her blog here

$5.99 blocks from homesense. Seriously, how did we survive before that store?

Laundry bag! I got this idea from Sarah Richardson. I found the quilt fabric that matches the quilt, and basically made a pillow case. SO easy!

I love it! The rooms in my house are small so I didn't have a spot for a big laundry hamper.  ( I made one for Dion as well ) Now I can keep the boys laundry separate from ours, which makes folding and putting away easier, plus I can make sure their laundry only gets the dye and perfume free soap. ( Cindy still trying to find Method..)

I hope my " Prince" enjoys his big boy room for many years to come. Or - until I get bored and decide I wanna redecorate :0